My website is not the proper place for this rant, but I know of no other place to put it. And it is my blog and I can put whatever I want in it.

Every time I hear of a gay teenager or any teenager committing suicide part of me just wants to break down and I have to literally fight back the tears.  It's that part of me that has felt their pain and walked in their footsteps. It is the part of me that understands the anguish and pain they are going though.  Whenever I hear of a teen committing suicide all of that pain and anguish along with the helplessness and hopelessness I buried deep in the recesses of my sole when I was their age explodes into my head in the form of flashbacks and memories.  I have been in their shoes.  I was that teenager. I was that gay teenager. I understand all too well what they are going through.

I know what it is like to be teased,  tormented, and bullied incessantly when all you want so desperately is to be accepted, or even just left alone.  You just want to belong but you can't belong because others will not let you. You reach a breaking point where you just can't take it anymore and you just want it to stop.  I know all to well what it is like to be singled out and at the same time alone, shunned, and isolated in a crowd. I know what it is like when they won't let up. Been there, done that.  When you are 'that kid' or 'that gay kid' life can be unbearable. My teen years were the worst years of my life.

I don't pray very often, but when I hear of a young man or woman killing themselves I pray. I ask God to let me or someone, have a chance to reach out to those teenagers before it is too late. Let someone who has felt their pain and survived that awful period in their life connect with them, and be their anchor so they don't let go of this precious gift called life.  I ask God to please give them the strength to reach down deep inside their souls and find it within themselves to continue on.

I want to say to those gay teenagers, that you are so not alone. So many others have gone before you. So many others have felt your pain. Learn to live and plan for the future, and just get through today.  I don't have the answers, but I do know there is no such thing as coincidence. Everything happens for a reason, even the torment and the pain you are feeling. You may not like what is happening but it is happening for a reason so step out of the moment, take a deep breath, and pay attention. What you learn will serve you well later on in life. What you don't let kill you, will make you stronger, including yourself.

I want to say to those gay teenagers that you are not an abomination. You are very, very special. You did not choose this for yourself. Rather you were chosen to walk a very special path. To take your life, is to deny the universe your destiny and your purpose.

I want to say to those gay teenagers that though none of us get out of here alive, we all have a purpose, especially those tormented by others. Tormentors on some level, usually beyond their feeble comprehension, sense that you are different. On some level they don't even understand, they know you are special. It is the tragedy of humanity that we fear what we do not understand or cannot comprehend. To take your own life means they win. Don't give the bastards and bitches the satisfaction.

Thanks to Facebook I know what happened to most all my tormentors. At 51 years of age I have already outlived half of them. Success is truly the best revenge.

For every Tormentor that reads this, shame on you.